i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
