yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize