Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
