Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
