O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
