Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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