I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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