ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize