I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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