I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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