one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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