that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
