omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
