I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
