I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
