Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
