i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
