thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I can't trust your balls anymore.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
