Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Come on in and take your pants off
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