It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Jerry, you need to find god
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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