if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
