no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
