Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
