At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
