The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
