It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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