cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
