you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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