he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize