His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
