Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I bet he comes in French.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
