Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
