she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
