In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
