Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
