let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize