OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
