What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
