What a fucking waste of an outfit
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize