Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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