I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
