Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
