Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
