this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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