I need to stop coming to work sober
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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