Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize