I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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