I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
