bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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