dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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