I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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