the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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