One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
