omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
