____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Can you bring me the toilet please
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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