shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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