In the future we'll all be gay
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
